Below are the 16 most recent journal entries recorded in Elder Beerman's LiveJournal:

Monday, August 20th, 2007
3:12 pm	My Friends are Single! My friends are single and it's so fun!  Vicarious MANTRIGUE abounds.  It's good to see them both enjoying it.  We have a nice even balance in our little group now.  I remember being "the single friend" and it was fun and fabulous.  But I also remember being single with a favorite pal (KK) and it was WICKED fun!  Rock on and out my single lady friends!!!!  Stir it up! (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 28th, 2007
5:11 pm	World's Tallest Man FINALLY Finds a Wife JEEZ!  Fiiiinnnally.   Took him long enough. Long enough... not that funny. Daily Goals: 1. Exercise at least 5 times per week, making it a goal to get it over on weekdays and be off the hook on weekends unless needing to make up a day. 2. Journal everyday.  Even if it's just one or two lines.  Paper or plastic.  Even if I think it sounds lame and want to erase it. 3. Look for a new job that will be a step closer to one of the areas of interest I have identified.  Do this 20-30 minutes each weekday. 4. Fill a water bottle and take it with me each weekday.  (Note to self- don't forget to drink from bottle)  Weekends are for drinking beer. Tomorrow- Goals for the month, possibly goals for the week, maybe something else altogether. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 21st, 2007
4:56 pm	Shut up Extroverts Shut up extroverts I realize this is how you process information but stop processing all over me I've never been sprayed in the face by a skunk but I imagine that your spewage is a similar experience it makes my eyes water gives me a headache and renders me unable to think except for "help me godjesus" and "make it stop" It hurts that you use your mouth to think instead of your brain. I'd like to remove your scent glands (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, August 21st, 2004
1:18 pm	Take the Next Michigan Left and Fuck Shitty Interludes Fuck Shitty Interludes. And fuck the baggage that comes with them. I quit. And also: If you are only after the bone. Make it clear and be up front about it. Don't bother with the good bye kisses and public hugging. I certainly don't. Ass Pony. (Comment on this)
Sunday, July 25th, 2004
12:10 pm	Animals in the Woods and The Return of Fake Last night was supposed to be K's evening of birthday celebration. There was intention. There had been planning. And then there was a mutual 5 hour nap. We woke up at 9 pm. Tiredness happens when both parties pull all nighters with men. That's right. You heard it here first. I arrived back at my parental home around noon to find my parents delirious with fear that I had been violated and/or maimed. They were minutes away from calling hospitals. They had already called K. I had been gone for less than 24 hours. Several emotionally charged yelling fits (my mom), a shower (me), and a family meeting regarding "responsible behavior" later, I was on the road to K's still intent on celebration of her 24th. When I arrived, I got to meet K's all nighter partner- a brainy red who among other pursuits is a Buick enthusiast. I was in a state of extreme delirium and fatigue- acting silly as heck- but he seemed nice, kinda quiet, but altogether nice and laid back. There was lunch, there was pool in K's basement, eventually he left... Then there was intrigue swap and extended napping. We went to Canada anyways. Heard some MEAN ass harmonican played, and decided to reschedule K's birthday celebration for a time when we were both feeling more fresh and prepared. Let me just say- going to a party with someone you've only just recently re-met, drinking PBRs and tequilla, staying up til dawn, making out in a wooden tunnel on a playground, learning to drive stick in a really fun car, and fake, (among highlights)is what I'm all about. So here's to good times and to K's birthday and impending make-up celebration. Girl- next time we'll set the alarm clock. J (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, July 1st, 2004
9:50 pm	bitch in a can Sitting on a crate in K's new place. I hate a new person, he was allowed into the favorite and most hallowed place which is in Canada- He asked if it was "safe to drink the water"- he was serious. Going out on a date with a new person tomorrow night. Hopes that somehow sprung from the dark recesses of my being that he would be a good one were dashed when I heard his voice on the phone. I liked this person for his writing style, sense of humor, and interesting things to say. Now that I have heard his voice I have a better sense of what the manner in which he was saying them/his presentation style and it is not the cool-guy-coolness that I had envisioned. Fuck dating. S.N.- You should email me. I suppose that getting a random email from me; someone that you have not heard from in many long years, may have been strange for you. But dang, embrace the intrigue ya bitch, and go with it. It's all in fun. Let's go have a beer, ok? D- Thanks for the motorcycle ride, it was scary and fun. Thanks also for behaving yourself, I could be your friend. Frank Turner is allowed to do Jesus-Bible editorials on the ABC news- regularly. What the heck is up with that? (Comment on this)
Monday, May 10th, 2004
7:51 pm	10 things I hate about work/ 364 days left counting weekends because even though I don't have to.... work on weekends, I will be spending them knowing I have to work when they are over. First day of work, Oh yes oh yes it happenned. Woke up this morning with Bombs over Baghdad playing loudly in my head. What does this mean? Work is too long. It should not last 8 hours. Enough is enough, I mean really. Most people can get their jobs done without spending 8 hrs, 5 days per week forced time squandering. If people worked less hours with the same job description and pay, they would work harder and be happier. I could go on. If I can do my job in less time than 5 8 hr days I should be allowed to do so. If you or any one else need more time, please take it. Ok I am stopping now for real. Also, interacting with people for 8 hours at a time is not my bag. I'm good for about 5 and then I am spent. Anti-social social worker at your service. I wore a watch today for the first time in forever (2 yrs.?) It was a sad sad day oh yes it was. Wearing the shackles of responsibility on my left wrist. Of course I was constantly checking it in the pathetic way that watch wearers do when they are working. Fuck wearing a watch. TWB asked me to go out with him tomorrow and I have to baby sit, so I can't go. TWB: I won't be seeing you for awhile. It's really your fault for not booking ahead. I still like you though. Let's go out next week when I get back. It wouldn't hurt things between us if you brought me more Coffee Crisps like you did last time we went to a movie. That was a nice touch, you should re-touch. I'm having dinner with R.B. on Wednesday. He used a semi-colon in the most recent email he sent me. I like a man who can toss around a semi-colon. Thursday night K and I are leaving for a social work conference in WV. We are planning to camp. Looking so forward to camping with K. Sad that we are not going to be able to catch Mountain Stage b/c I have to be back at work on Monday. K: My mom bought some organic milk, per my request. Thanks. 3 more days. Someone on ebay has the name "supplicator." Now to me that just has S & M written all over it. LL: I know I need to finish painting your bathroom, but GOD and JESUS, I don't want to. I need to make myself. The person who is training me at work seems to have her act together in a really good way. I am thankful for that. BUT every fiber in my being screams for the weekend. (Comment on this)
Friday, May 7th, 2004
12:39 pm	Raise the Flag Before You Dig!! I like mechanics. I always have. They just give me a good feeling, and yeah even the ones who take advantage of women, and overcharge, or any of the other things that mechanics are accused of doing, and often do. (Apparentla, I also like commas) Even the bad ones can make me smile. And the good kindly ones, well they can just make my day. (K has a great mechanic). Mechanics are just a unique breed, they are so handy, and they just have an air of sturdy knowledgeable almost graceful know-how and handiness. Very no-nonsense, down to earth, interesting sense of humor. So yeah I took my car in to be fixed FINALLY. I have been holding out 6 months to get the exhaust fixed (waiting for my tax refund check). That means that I have also been waiting for my tax refund check for 6 mo. Good Job. So the mechanics were all really nice to me and fed me chocolate donuts while I waited and fixed my car right away. Jim talked about the sad $ grubbing state of America and God and people doing crazy things in the name of God,welfare and many other related topics. He was itching to share his views, which were interesting. Let me tell YOU the man had some strong opinions and things to say. He had a very interesting perspective it is hard for me to describe... It was very down-home, christian coupled with anti-catholic, family values focused, military mentality when it came to dealing with criminal and/or problem behaviors while being semi-anti war but not sold completely on it, though he did not say so I am quite sure he was not for affirmative action. Overall it was enjoyable, but got to be a bit much, I couldn't have got too many words in edgewise and I tried a few times with force, and many other times halfheartedly. I went out with TWPB (toxic waste pool builder) last night. It was a GOOD time. BUT... I have some interesting feelings about TWPB, I feel like I should be more into him than I am. I think I am psyching myself out about it. I think it has to do with the Mark situation. I was committed to the single life HARD CORE. And had been committed to it for years now. And then there was Round 2 with Mark, things got intense, and rather than turn my back on what was at the time a really good thing, I make the choice to give it a shot with Mark and not hold back. Sometime shortly after, he dropped the ball, I had some space and a reality check, was still going to give it a good try while maintaining my personal space and independence. And then came this journal... to be a reminder not to let myself fall into the dungeonous cavity of relationshipness. Meanwhile I was meeting TWPB. And then shortly after things were OVER with Mark. And now I have the heftiest supply of mantrigue that I have ever had. Translation- I'm dating more than one person at the same time. So what I am saying is that, for a brief window of time I was not so committed to the single life. And that window closed awhile ago and I am not very open at all to letting someone get close. TWPB: When I saw you last night. You were tan. My first thought was.. "Jesus Christ not another tanning booth victim, I would not have pegged you as one who frequents the tanning booth." The first thing I said was "You are tan." You said it was from being outside. At that point I was a bit jealous of your nice sudden onset tan. Hope you like the pale with freckles as much as I liked your tan. I had fun with you last night. Rush hour traffic was rotten and I got searched at customs on the way home. Thanks for buying that over-priced rotten dinner. Aren't you glad I got mine boxed up and then threw it away as soon as we were out of sight of the restaurant? I want us to have the mystery ingredient, the eye contact zing. We didn't have it last night. That's ok with me b/c I am not ready for the intensity yet or seemingly anytime soon. You would be a good one to fall for, if ever I came around to being in the business of falling for anyone. You are a pretty good kisser, but it would have been better if we had the zing, and I was not really being open and relaxed enough most of the time. But there were some good moments. Thanks for being so nice. Hope you liked all of my stories. Especially the one I told you at dinner about the hilarious show with the guy who was prentending to have one leg and who was shopping for roller blades inluding trying them on and propelling himself down the aisle with the aid of a hockey stick. Hope you liked how I laughed so hard I cried. And I hope you liked the many other silly stories I told you. Self disclosure of silly stories is easy with you, but it's just easy for me period when I'm in the right mood, so maybe you don't get points for that. Peace, J R.B: I would like to write you a long letter like I wrote TWPB. But this is getting LONG as can be. I like TWPB better than you and that's why I wrote to him first. But I still like you and I want to give you a chance. I do have a beef with you. I sat through a tremendously long, cold and boring date with you last time and you should have given me a way better kiss goodnight than you did. I was in the mood to kiss and you were holding back, probably b/c you felt dejected after that crappy date. I'm looking forward to having dinner with you, but not "holding you forever." Please don't ever say that to me again. Also, please relax and be yourself as best you can. But if being yourself means high probability of the afore mentioned statement, than maybe you should suppress your true self. I am craving a portobella burger from Sidetrack, so could you please take me there? I guess I did have some things to say to you. In closing, I like you, I really do. BUT things will never ultimately work with us b/c you are too family oriented and seem to want to settle down. But in the meantime, let's have some good times. You can be quite fun and I like being with you. J This meeting new people is good for me, it is. Makes the introvert work. I start my new job, the one that I had the crappy interview for, on Monday. Hopefully dealing with these new people and fun social situations has given my outgoing side a good boost that is going to help me when I have to deal with orienting myself to my new job and the new people there. Acceptance that I will have a job has set in. Can you tell? INTROVERTS 4-EVER!!! AND... I'm not going to give up on travelling SOON (yr from now) for an extended trip. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 28th, 2004
10:16 pm	Things That Rhyme With Ball Ode to a Pay Phone: Pay phone you are a dying breed Slaughtered by the advent of the cell phone Thanks for the helpful labels posting for all to see "Change not provided" (Comment on this)
Friday, April 23rd, 2004
9:02 am	Sweetness and Light Oh Live Journal of Mine, it has been many days since my last confession. I have been thinking about you from time to time. This is what went down.. at least some of it... I got called back for a 2nd interview. It wasn't my best performance, but not too bad and I am so glad that it's over with. Haven't heard from those friends, but don't think I got it, and if they offered, I would have to take it b/c it would be the responsible thing to do b/c it's a good opportunity (I hate that feeling). I have been really tense about the getting a job thing, all week. Really, I just don't like the thought of being boxed into something, amoung other things that I am not in the right mood to express to my satisfaction. Mark and I are finished, but I think I'll keep this LJ. It all came down to him not wanting to make effort, I guess. South American Toxic Waste Pool builder and I went out on Wed. In Windsor, it was good times. We kissed, he did a good job. He said I was "sweet." GICK! I really don't like that and I told him as much. It seems that when I meet people they will peg me as either "sweet" or some sort of crazy party girl. What does this say about me? What does this say about them? What does this say about our society as a whole? What does this say about the nature of humanity? I think it may say a little, but not so much really. The phrase of that night was... "I don't know.. well no...maybe.." and several slight varations. I was doing the saying of it and I don't think it did anything to promote a no-nonsense non-sweet attitude. Conversation was good though. It's nice being out with someone smart, but who is not assaulting you with their smartness. He has a good vocabulary. I'm way into that. He didn't email me yesterday, though, and I think he should have. Just to say "J, I had a really great time, you are the Queen, and I think you are fun and funny." Previously he had been trying to get K and I to hang out with him on a Saturday in Windsor. Not so sure how I feel about that. He has met up with us before, but htis is different. K is more than welcome to come. But... it just doesn't seem like the most considerate plan. Besides that... I go out about 1 time a week with K to Windsor on Saturday, we are back to the old standing date. We go out to be free and unshackled. The idea of spending our Saturday (the one night per week that I go out) shackled to Andrew is not my pleasure. Saturdays are ever the fun event and Andrew has honed in on them recently... Making Saturdays partially about him and I don't really like that, at least not on a regular basis. And you know, I am pleased that I am feeling protective of them. SINGLE LADIES PROTECT YOUR SATURDAYS! WORD! I tried on my prom dress last night, good times. And now to close with one of the benefits of being single/dating casually (besides good Saturdays). Kissing a new person makes you feel good (if it was quality). The day after getting some nice kiss from a new person I always feel a little spring in my step, a nice little zippy fun feeling, and a bit prettier than usual. It's a nice little high. Peace, J (Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 6th, 2004
1:48 pm	Live Journal can you Hear ME? Okcupid really is addictive, OH YES IT IS. I would say, "Make it stop!!" But I don't want it to stop. Don't stop til you get enough. The Van Morrison concert was great. Travel with my parents was not. Mom and Dad, I love you, but let's not travel together again anytime soon. I need a long time to forget. I am going on a job interview tomorrow. I found out on Monday. This kind of sudden onset is not my extreme pleasure, but it may be good for me. For the record, I severely dislike resumes, interviews, cover letters. Resumes and interviews are tied for most hated. Though I may declare one the winner after tomorrow. I emailed my field placement supervisor to see if she would be a reference for me. She sent me a prompt and splendid email back stating her opinion/ripping on organization that I will be interviewing with and saying of course but that I should be warned that the director of said place "hates her guts." It was best ever!!! I need to get an email like that before every interview I go on. OH man it really made my day. Kevin, if you read this, I want you to know that you were my #1 local match on OKcupid. When I saw this, I freaked out and started answering a ton more questions to try to make it go away. It either didn't go away, or didn't go away fast enough for my taste so I deleted everything and started over from scratch. I thought you would like to know. A system processing ppls answers to a bunch of questions that are not specific or quantified enough does not make a match and blah blah all of that stuff. And I don't mind if you are a high match for me... But there was no way I was going to let that number 1 stand. Drastic measures were taken. This is super funny to me and so true. Andrew should email me back. I would really like it if he did. Not so much time has elapsed since I emailed him... but I like the instant or near instant grat. Andrew... I like you. Mark, things are not the same with us. You are guarding your emotional attatchment like the sacred trust. Believe me homeboy, I am too, though you have me beat by a longshot. At any rate things can't go from all intense and kissy nice nice to love hoarder and still be good, at least not the way things are going. Even I who started a live journal to help ward off attatchment give a little bit of niceness and encouragement to someone I like. I know you like me Mark. We shall see, but I think I am already seeing. I thought I was so nice and set with 2 nice boys to see once in awhile but really more than one at once is forever escaping me. LATa (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 30th, 2004
5:12 pm	cont. And now to finish off with some nice healthy rips on Mark to keep it real. Mark likes his car too much for my taste... we went to the car wash RIGHT after the mud incident to clean it off. I would have driven around proudly in my muddy car for awhile, reveling in the adventure. He was also complaining that the revving and being stuck wasn't good for the front wheel drive. WAH WAH! It also wasn't good for anything I was wearing including my favorite shoes. He also said " maybe our paths will cross again" in true Round 1/Early Round 2 Mark fashion, in reference to hanging out again. Seems like he is trying to keep things cool too and not get too carried away. Fine by me. Join the party. If I am not careful, I will have to start taking some digs at Andrew soon b/c I really like him. (Andrew is also an ideal candidate for anti-attatchment 1056793 b/c he goes to South America a few months per year for his job and actually will be leaving in abt. a month) On Saturday Andrew ended up visiting while K and I were at our favorite in Canada. I had suggested that he drop in if he was out and about. He did. We all got shwarma afterwards. Andrew saw me peeing, it wasn't either of our faults. We kissed goodbye, it was NICE. Sometime in between our arrival in Canada and the Shwarma there was a great band playing, we saw many regulars, including Non-nightcapper who was sporting some fresh bibs, Mike (former bartender at the favorite) and his friend showed up, fooseball and pool were played. I was sad that we didn't get to spend more time with them, probably b/c Andrew was around. SEE.. this is what I am talking about. Meeting men is FUN.. but after you have met them and you let them hang around you, you are not as free to meet and hang out with other ppl new or old male or female b/c you have an appendage of sorts. This is not to say that it wrecks things or that you can't meet new ppl. But it puts a damper on the chances of a spontaneous night of new intrigue. Anyways, I feel super lucky that I have 2 friends that I like though. Both at are at levels of like that I am comfortable with. "IT'S NICE TO BE NICE" (such wise words from a lecherous older man that K and I met at a Hostel bar in London) (Comment on this)
4:36 pm	Jackpot Another weekend has passed. Oh how I live for the weekends. Mark and I went out on Friday night... it was definitely good times. We met up at the BG Frickers where it all began so long ago. I guess I have known him for almost 2 years now. It was odd not to have K and Brentwad along. But seeing Mark was good, just being with him is nice, really nice, comfortable, wholesome. My feelings for him are definitley not as intense as they used to be... I am sure a product of recent disappointments and the fact that I hadn't seen him for nearly 2 months, and my rejuvenated commitment to living free and un-shackled. I had assumed all along that if Mark and I could just get toether and SEE eachother in person that things would be golden, b/c things have always been super good when we get together and it had just seemed to me that previously when we hadn't seen eachother for so long, we were having some VERY bad luck and poor online communication skills. So anyways we saw eachother... And here is what happenned.. We went to the mall to see what movies were playing... I decided I wanted to go to the Christian Jamboree that was going on there... he didn't want to but it was fun teasing him about it, we went and got pizza. (I wonder if he wanted thin crust b/c it has lower calories?, TV told me the difference in calories btwn thin and pan is 200 per slice, did I also mentiont that I was an hour late meeting him.. serves him right for the time he stood me up semi-unintentionally) BUT I digress, anyways after pizza we decided that we were going to drive out the the country and make out instead of going to a movie, b/c I said the country is the place to go make out and it is and b/c it seemed like an as fun, if not more fun and definitely more economical choice. So off we went. His car ended up getting VERY stuck in a muddy field. I pushed it out. That is right your strengthy pal pushed that thing out and it took a long time and I am still sore. So by the time the car was free, I was COATED in mud (FUN!) So I changed into one of Mark's big old shirts and we were on our way back into the city to make out. Found a spot.. made out for awhile... not as good as the country would have been... BRIGHT LIGHT... I thought he was joking when he said that the cops had come... he wasn't... "Hello Officer don't mind us we were just making out in the backseat of this car b/c the front wasn't very comfortable and believe it or not the reason I'm not wearing pants is not make-out related, it's MUD related." I decided to cut my losses and didn't even bother trying to go into it all. One of the best dates ever. (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 25th, 2004
8:46 am	Hot Cowboy... do you look as good without your hat? Last night, K and I went to the Diamondback Saloon. If you are not thinking country western bar... you should be. 75 cent bottle beer night, live band... who by the way played some Def Lepard... pool, fooseball, hot cowboy bartender complete with black t-shirt and matching cowboy hat, no cover, multi-level seating. The place was dead, the music was loud, the beer was cheap, there was a token annoying guy... good times on a Wednesday night. I highly reccomend. ANDREW emailed! And he has a writing style that I like and can relate to, laced with a nice fun vibe. Lata. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 24th, 2004
9:44 am	Srah fought the Battle of Jericho If Srah can dump Beasel in favor of independence, freedom, and her version of the swinging single life. Then I can do it too if the time comes when the shackles of a relationship are chaffing me raw. AND I can do it better. Goal: to lop any relationship off when the chaff surpasses significant irritant but way before raw chaff. This is the decided upon lopping point. ALSO: South American Toxic Waste Pool Builder who I met on Saturday night. You should call. You were cute and interesting and not afraid of a good arguement. I bet you have even mastered intermediate grammar skills. AND you like Shwarma. Bring the intrigue! Going out with Mark on Friday. BUT going out on Saturday with K to our favorite which I am looking forward to much more. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 23rd, 2004
10:04 pm	The Non-resolution I had been waiting for Oh resolution you were not a resolution. You were the probable beginning to a new relationship/web of life zest and independence sucking and trouble. A resolution would have been closure. It would have been, "J, I don't want this." Oh a BIG part of me wanted him to say that and I could walk away FREE, wild and free of the trappings of a relationship knowing I gave a what seems/ed a good thing a chance. Relationship is a dirty word, it gives me foul thoughts and most of all ANGST just thinking about it. Part of me is happy though, I like him. So now I am making my own resolution. To keep things light and fun between us. Or at least to fight the good fight to do so. Helpful reminders to ward off attatchment: Poor grammar mediocre table manners emotional coward social stuntage (4 Comments |Comment on this)